land of quo

39 comments on “I Don’t Give A Rat’s Butt About Attainable Goals”

1. I knew you were a softy under that hard candy shell.

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   • My grumpiness is just a ruse.

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     • When you hug someone, do you do that ass sticking up in the air thing?

     • Nope. I do the full-frontal pelvic hug, though I’m careful not to be creepy.

     • You like pressure on your pelvis? Interesting.

     • Not bottom-of-the-ocean pressure, but a good hug won’t be destroyed by a pelvis tap.

     • Pelvis taps vary depending on intention.

     • Thus, it is important not to let the tap turn into a grind for a casual hug. Save that for the dance floor.

     • I only dance when I am drunk. Perfect opportunity to take advantage.

     • You should dance more often. Even when there isn’t music.

     • The one time I did that, someone asked me if they could ring my bell.

     • You should have rang their bell with a right cross.

     • I am rather picky about who I allow to ring my bell.

     • I always thought getting your “bell rung” was getting punched in the head.

     • No. It means..well..you know.

     • I know what it means to you because…well…you’re you. To a boxer, it means getting punched in the head. I’d rather experience your definition, if given the choice.

     • You want to ring my bell? I knew it.

     • Again, you and your trap questions.

     • Honesty is always the best policy.

     • Okay, I would definitely not want to punch you in the head. Unless, of course, you tried to carjack me.

     • It’s not your car I am interested in.

     • *gulp*

       Is it someone else’s car you’re interested in?

     • Nope.

     • Is this one of those moments when I realize it would have been prudent of me to locate the emergency exits when I came in?

     • More than likely. You have free will to use the exit at any time. But here you are.

     • Call 911. I’m being held hostage in my own blog.

     • I will undo the rope and let you free, if you wish.

     • Well, now that I know I have a choice, I’m not all that sure.

     • The choice is yours.

     • Oh, geez. This is difficult. I’ll have to flip a coin.

       *flip*

       Okay, best two out of three.

     • What was the outcome? Do I stay or do I go?

     • It landed on the edge and just balanced there. Weird.

     • Blow on it.

     • Sneaky.

     • I wasn’t winking at you, I had an eyelash stuck in my eye. Down tiger.

     • That’s better than getting a toenail stuck in your eye. Believe me when I say it’s very painful.

     • What sort of shenanigans caused that, I wonder. You must have a foot fetish.

     • No, just over-zealous pruning.

     • Do you enjoy pruning…never mind.