The Beatles vs. Led Zeppelin


Although Led Zeppelin is in my top five of best bands ever, The Beatles were the first at almost everything, from backwards guitar to feedback. The Beatle’s were pioneers. They were bloody wonderful.

Remember, just because The Beatles were first doesn’t mean they were the best. I bet Led Zeppelin would have totally beaten the crap out of the Beatles if they ever rumbled. The Beatles were a bunch of cowardly sissies. Did you ever see “A Hard Days Night”? They spent the whole time running from a bunch of girls. What do you think they would have done against big-armed John Bonham or Jimmy Page with all his magical powers from Aleister Crowley? I’ll give you one guess and the answer is “run”.

This is blasphemy! I did see “A Hard Day’s Night”, as a matter of fact!! The Beatles were not sissies! They were very polite and seeped fabness. They actually spent most of their time chasing Paul’s grandfather around. Plus, they didn’t trash their hotel rooms and bite the heads off of chickens. Did you ever see the muscles on John’s arms? He would have snapped Robert Plant skinny ass in half.

Are you talking about John Lennon? Peace-loving, Yoko-marrying, “Bed-in” John Lennon? Snapping Robert Plant in half?

Let’s try to pull our heads out of our Beatles obsession for a moment. John Lennon would not have hurt one hair on Robert Plant’s curly and godlike head even if his arms were bigger than the pipe cleaners they were. He was a pacifist. Plant wouldn’t even have needed kung fu pants to kick him down. Lennon was halfway there already.

And don’t think I didn’t notice you had no defense against Jimmy Page’s magical powers. Fighting him is like fighting a rock-n-roll Gandalf.

Granted, I will give some points to The Beatles if they could ever organize those screaming teenage girls into some type of special forces unit. Otherwise, they are defenseless against the skills and power of Led Zeppelin.

Oh, please. Have you never heard of Beatlemania?? As far as I am aware, Led Zeppelin never had that many screaming teenyboppers chanting their names. That is power, my friend. And they didn’t need to worship the devil to get it.

Just because John was of the peace-loving sort doesn’t mean he didn’t know how to throw down. He was quite the juvenile delinquent, a cheeky little ruffian. Do you think that just because he lost some weight, he really couldn’t snap poor wittle Robert Plant, whose waist line is the size of my calf, in half?


The Backstreet Boys were a bunch of Nancy boys.

Nancy boys who obviously made a deal with the devil. Can you and I at least agree that the entire group of The Backstreet Boys would easily be defeated in battle by either Robert Plant with an arm tied behind his back or even John Lennon while lying in bed with Yoko Ono?

This might be the first time we have ever agreed on anything. This doesn’t negate the fact that The Beatles are larger than life.

Larger than Life cereal, maybe.


48 comments on “The Beatles vs. Led Zeppelin

  1. Pingback: Merbear and quo debate…. | knocked over by a feather

  2. personally I think they all would have a lit up a few doobies and had a peaceful ‘love-in’ while discussing musical artistry and crazy groupies… but who knows… perhaps John and Robert would have a “throw down” and rolled around on the ground for a bit???

    • That’s a whole other debate, though I suspect Pete Townsend could give just about anybody a run for their money with his helicopter strum move.

  3. God… I love this post and all the comments. I don’t think any of them were really fighters and it’s sort of comparing apples and oranges. Maybe the contest would be who could get the most girls. That would be a close race…

  4. Lol… Robert Plant would have won by the power of his golden, mystical hair. Just sayin’

  5. Robert plant is regraded as the greatest frontman ever. Jimmy page is the best guitar player ever played for a band. John paul was the master of keys and bass. And john was the man on fire (LZ) and than you have the beatles.

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